Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
