For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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