Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
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