i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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