the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize