he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
