Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
