Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
