I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
