: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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