I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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