do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
