is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
