Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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