he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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