glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize