Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
