dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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