I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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