Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
