I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
