Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
