i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
