This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
where does the pee come out of this thing
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Randomize
