I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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