What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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