I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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