Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
