You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
