you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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