dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
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at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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