Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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