Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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