I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
