We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize