In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
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You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
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She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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