my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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