are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize