I would go down on you faster than GM stock
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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