Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.