Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
People With No Siblings Will Never Understand These 23 Things
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
25 Seemingly Normal Things That Give Some People Massive Anxiety
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man