some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
