just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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