PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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