Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
