I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
