Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
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