i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
