She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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