I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
