theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize