so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
