you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
