Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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