I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
