There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Sext me about skeletons
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
