it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
