she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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