He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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