I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
