The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
